How to Convince My Parents to Allow Me to Go On a Date?

f you are teenager who’s living with his/her parents, you might have to convince them to let you date especially if they are on the conservative side. Of course you can date in the hiding, and it’s less of a problem for guys, but it gets difficult for girls who need to come up with new excuses to stay out late. So this article is more focused on girls.

So as girl, if you are living with some conservative parents, how do you convince them to let you date? Here are a few tips.

Get them to trust in you – If your parents trust you, they will know that you won’t do anything stupid. There are many instances when teenage girls get into all sorts of trouble especially during their dating phase. If your parents think you are the wild, irresponsible sort, they will try to be more protective towards so. So basically your attitude builds or breaks the trust your parents have in you. Work on being more responsible and trustworthy. Get them to know that you are mature for your age and can take care of yourself without getting into trouble.

Call your boyfriend over to your house – If your parents know who you will be going out with, and if they approve of him, it will be a cinch for you to convince them on going out on a date with him. The best thing to do is to call him over to your house on the pretext of working on some school project.

You can get him to meet your parents this way. If he comes across as a reliable and responsible guy, your parents will have fewer qualms about sending you out on a date with him. You can just introduce him as a good friend. It helps to say that he’s a sincere and studious student who’s helping you with your school work, even if that’s furthest from truth.

Let them know where you will be going – Let your parents know where you will be going on the date. Mostly it will be to a restaurant or a party. Make sure they have ample means of contacting you in case of any necessity. Most parents get uneasy about the type of crowd you will be hanging out with, so it makes sense to give them the contact number of your boyfriend, just to secure their trust.

Have your boyfriend pick you up from home – Most parents feel more comfortable if the guy will be picking you up and dropping you back safely. Just ask your boyfriend to drive over and pick you up for the date. You can also introduce him to your parents when he comes over to your house.

Put on some sensible clothes when you go on a date – Don’t alarm your parents by wearing a low neckline or strapless dress when you go out on a date. Wear something classy instead of revealing. When they see that you are dressed like a lady, they will have more trust in your maturity. There have been cases when dates have been cancelled because the parents did not approve of the dressing sense their daughter had.

Have a talk with your mom – It can be quite embarrassing for a girl to discuss issues related to physical intimacy, but it’s easier to talk it out with your mom. Tell her that you are well aware of the risks involved in physical intimacy and that you won’t be doing anything that can cause trouble.

Let her know that you are well knowledgeable about the trouble a girl can get into while hanging out with the wrong guy who tries to use her. When your mom realizes that you are a sensible grown up girl, she will give her vote in your favor. She might even do a better job at convincing your dad.

So if you are fuming in your room thinking - how can I convince my parents to let me go on a date? – these tips can well work for you. In the end it’s all about trust. You need to earn your parents’ trust by the way you behave.
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The Difference Between Relationship And Friendship.

What is the difference between a close friendship and a close relation? Most of us believe that when friendship becomes stronger, it may turn into relationship. The truth is different. Think about the kind of talk you have with your friends. You are always very open about your failures and shortcomings. You are not shy of talking about your problem and asking friends to help. In a close friendship, you expect to know everything about each other.

How about a relationship? Think about animals. They also show their best side to their mate. We human beings keep lot of secrets away from our partner. We do not want to tell about our failures and shortcomings. We also try to impress our partner when we are in romance. This difference between friendship and relationship is very deep. We calculate our moves in a relationship but are very open in a friendship. We are like a child in friendships but behave like an adult in relationships.

If you remain inside your boundaries in a relationship and not try to change it into a close friendship, you will have longer relationships. Telling all does not help in relationships.
Test To Know If You Are In True Romantic Love

Is it a crush, infatuation, or is it really true romantic love?
www.yourromanceguide.com

BETTER KISSING.

For most of us, women and men alike, there was that one person who kissed us like no other. Some of us are lucky enough to still be with that person. For others, that person's kissing skill may have been his best attribute, and while our current partners have many other skills, kissing is not at the top of the list.

No need to merely daydream about those past great kisses -- you are about to be handed the keys to the kissing kingdom.

Critically important is the way in which you approach making suggestions to your partner... Given that kissing is one of the more important parts of lovemaking, it should be something we all do well.

Always make a point of saying what works, not what doesn't. Do not tell him he doesn't kiss well or doesn't 'do it' for you unless, of course, you don't want to see him again.Know that people will often touch (and kiss) the way they like to be touched.

As men are stronger and have thicker skin than women, they often touch to the pressure they know and like, which can be too much, especially initially, for women.Also, because men's mouths and tongues are larger, they may be too forceful in the moment of passion. Yet men are aware how easily a woman can go from 60 to 0 on the desire meter as a result of overly forceful or careless kissing. And there is nothing they want to avoid more than something that will interrupt lovemaking.
www.links2love.com

you be kissed the way you want to be kissed?

1. Take control:
You and your partner are kissing. You gently start to take control by placing your hands on either side of his face, holding his cheeks and guiding his lips.
In doing so, you are in control of the amount of pressure and motion of his mouth and, in turn, he feels the warmth of your hands. This can be especially good if your partner's mouth is too loose or open for you.

Then it is your responsibility to kiss him as you LOVE TO BE KISSED.

2. Get him to follow your lead:
Stop when you want and tell your partner, 'I just love kissing. It's the one thing that gets me ______________ [fill in the blank; for example, you might add the word 'hot' or 'turned on']. Then look at him and say, 'Will you show me what it feels like to be kissed by me?'


3. Introduce a fantasy:
Tell him that you had a dream the other night about how he was kissing you -- and it was fabulous. Whether or not you actually had this dream, what you need to do is have an idea about what you want to ask for. So think ahead to how you want to blend the new kissing style or technique you want with what he already does. That way, you're not asking for a completely different thing and won't risk offending his ego.

If you can't manage to explain what you want fully using your dream, tell him, 'You did something like this' and then show him what you want.

4. Praise your partner:
Let your partner know when he has kissed you right.

If he does something you really like, repeat it on him and ask if it feels as good to him as it did to you. To tweak his style, it's important that you use one-word directions, such as 'lighter,' 'left,' 'right,' etc. Men have shared with me that sentence-long guidance feels like criticism, while one-word comments sound like gentle direction. Remember that while you may feel that the more you tell, the better, he will be hearing your words through his own sexual gender filter.

5. Repeat:
Don't assume that one time through will work. Men often need reminding (yes, even when it comes to better kissing and better sex). Repeat exercises 1-4 as often as necessary. And enjoy!
www.links2love.com

HOME :: Relationships / Divorce Help Save a Marriage - How to Deal With Marriage Separation and Stop Divorce

Do you want to save your marriage today and stop a potential marriage separation or divorce? Do you feel as if your marriage is lacking spark or you just can't get it right? Do you fear a marriage separation or divorce is the only answer?

With one in three marriages ending in divorce, consider what effect is has on you and your family and whether or not you want to become another divorce statistic?

Have you considered getting help to save your marriage and stop divorce or separation? You should give yourself and your marriage every opportunity to succeed. There are techniques you can apply to help save your marriage today and stop divorce or a separation.

Do you want help in healing your relationship, resolving those painful conflicts, putting an end to the silence? If you want to help save your marriage you must learn how to communicate effectively and learn how to accept each others differences without the stress and pain of a separation or divorce. You don't need to regret wishing you could have done something to help save your marriage. If your wish is to save your marriage act, learn how to apply techniques that work, do something now, to save your marriage today.

I am sure most of you have tried ineffective methods to help save your marriage. There are millions of couples today that need viable techniques to help save their marriage. Not knowing proper techniques only make things worse and the techniques they've used to help save their marriage or stop divorce only end in disaster. Having the right information is vital when when you need to save your marriage today.

With the right information I believe anyone can have the marriage of their dreams, if you apply the techniques that work you can help save your marriage too.


Do you know learning how to communicate better does not solve your communication problems and won't necessarily help save your marriage or stop divorce. You'll find that it simply teaches you to fight better. What you need to focus on is to give up on arguing. It always inevitably leads into a battle of opinions, and neither of you is likely to change, especially if either or both of you are stubborn.
Learn how to identify risk factors for divorce and why you should ignore them. Become aware of the top six predictors of divorce and how to confront them head on. If you know the steps to having real power in your marriage, then you can help save your marriage and stop divorce.
The Real Marriage Killer: Loss of love and intimacy and how to recognize the real dangers in your relationship could help save your marriage, prevent you from separation or stop divorce. The real danger is not when you are arguing all the time, but disillusion and disappointment in your marriage can end it in divorce or separation.
Affairs: How to spot them and prevent them before they occur. You can learn when affairs are likely to occur and happen and prevent them before they happen by watching out for troublesome areas in your marriage. If you suspect an affair you should not come straight out and accuse your partner, but learn what techniques work best that will actually help save your marriage.
Lack of Commitment: If you're involved in something (or someone) else (workaholic, Internet), you're not involved with your spouse: learn how to spot how modern attitudes towards marriage that can work against commitment and can actually do harm and sabotage your marriage.
Growing Apart: Keep it from happening to you! You should know how to read your partner like a book and be able to identify crises and danger zones. By knowing how to identify them you can help save your marriage and spare yourself a lot of pain. Learn how to spot them before it causes a marriage separation or divorce.

Most couples fail to stop a marriage separation or divorce because they fail to take action. They fear that it may be too late. In order to help save your marriage, you need to have patience and perseverance to get through the tough times. But never give up on your marriage.

When facing marriage problems or trying to stop a divorce, you know that time is of the essence. To Save Your Marriage Today you can not rely on ineffective techniques

www.enzinearticle.com

Woo Her With Flowers.

Women and flowers have a love-love relationship since ages. Emperors used to order development of flower gardens just for their queens. Flowers are the eternal symbols of love. On your first date, take a bunch of flowers for your date. These need not be too expensive. Don’t take red Roses. Take yellow Roses instead if you wish to take Roses. You can take lots of other flower varieties like Tulips, Lilies, Asters, etc. Pick up a fresh, good looking bunch and present it to her.

On your second/third date, when you think you are serious about her, woo her with Orchids - which are considerably expensive. Women always love flowers. So you will be in her good books!!
www.romanceguid.com

Marriage Help - 3 Unusual Marriage Help Tips To Help Your Marriage Flourish In Love

Even setting the intention to seek marriage help will begin the process of change that will manifest help for a failing marriage. Acknowledging you need marriage help is the first and hardest step. Now you have opened yourself up to the idea of seeking marriage help, the new knowledge and wisdom you need to heal your marriage can come to you. Here are 3 unusual marriage help tips to help you put the love and togetherness back into your married life....

Dreaming, not screaming, helps your marriage

If you and your marriage partner are screaming at each other, you might want to consider seeking professional help and guidance from a marriage counsellor to heal your rifts. However, try this first: recapture the dream of what you first wanted this marriage to be. Talk or think about when you first met each other, and what attracted you to one another. Share some of your favourite romantic or intimate memories. Bring up some of those really special or thoughtful things your partner did for you. Tell them how much you loved and appreciated that time when he or she did ...(fill in the blank)... for you. Thank them again for giving you that experience. The more you can recapture these memories and shared experiences, the more you can bring that beautiful loving energy back into the present to heal and provide energetic marriage help. From this space, start to discuss what you would like your marriage to be like. Get into a feeling space of what it would be like to have your marriage just the way you want it. Let your desire inspire and excite you. With passion, you can renew your commitment to making this marriage wonderful.

Screwing, not stewing, helps marriages

Marriage help is needed when sexual relations have broken down and been replaced by argument and recrimination. Stop stewing over perceived slights and hurts. Take a deep breath and upgrade your soul with forgiveness. That means let it all go! Dump your toxicity. What you want is a committed marriage full of passion, romance and love. So now you are clear and specific on that you have clear targets to work towards. Start by loving yourself, getting in touch with the love and acceptance within. Do yourself and your partner the service of improving your health and fitness, taking an effort with your appearance, and putting your attention and intention into creating relationship magic. Start showing more affection and warmth to your partner. Melt that iceberg with genuine warmth, care and respect! And as soon as you can, get the intimacy, romance and passion going again between the sheets if you want some serious marriage help.

Flying, not crying, will help marriage

Moping around won't fix a thing. Get up and get busy with your marriage. You want marriage help? It's easy. Stop doing all the crappy things you've been doing and start doing things differently. Commit to creating a fantastic marriage and work at it. Experiment, try different things, follow your intuition -- it resides in your heart. Just get off that damned hamster wheel of habitual ways of acting and reacting to each other. Love is a verb, it's something that you do. You want a fabulous love-filled marriage, don't you? Of course you do! So move quickly. Act decisively. Break up the old ways and patterns. Challenge yourself to bring about this revolution in your life and imagine it full of this vital passionate energy. Marriage help is yours to grab, so reach out and start the process as fast as you can. This is so important. Give your whole energy to this. You deserve a beautiful, love-filled marriage ... and you can and will create it.

Marriage mentors

Get help for your marriage from the ultimate private source of first-class marriage help. It comes in The 50 Secrets to Blissful Relationships, a compilation of the love strategies and secrets used to build the top 1% of long-term, love-filled, happily-ever-after marriages. These couples spilled the secrets that they used to overcome relationship challenges and build wonderful marriages, you won't find a better source of genuine 'been there, done that' marriage help. It will shortcut your journey to a wonderful love marriage.

www.enzinearticle.com

HOME :: Relationships / Marriage Marriage Vows - How To Ensure Your Marriage Vows Forge A Lifelong Love Marriage

Marriage vows are tremendously important to the success of your marriage. Your marriage vows embody the emotional, physical and mental commitment between you and your partner and mustn't be taken lightly. As you contemplate and research marriage ceremonies and vows remember that it is not so much the words that are important, but the intent behind them. Here are 3 ways to guarantee that your marriage vows support you through a lifetime of married love, passion and romance....

The power of the vow

Marriage is the joining of two separate people in a shared love relationship of mutual support. Most marriages result from feelings of attraction and love and a desire for a permanent union but long-term marriage success requires a true commitment. In traditional marriage vows, the happy couple make promises to each other to the affect that they will care for and support each other through thick and thin. Some modern marriage vows contain too many escape clauses and read like a complex business contract with many stipulated conditions. I advise against weakening your marriage vow in any way. Make a real promise to each other. Acknowledge that there will be difficult times ahead. But make that promise that you will do your utmost to love no matter what. Remember that a vow is something more than a promise. It is of the heart and of your very spirit. A real vow is unbreakable. To break it is to break yourself. Forge your marriage with vows of that strength. And just imagine what it will mean to you and your partner to hear that intention when you speak your vows to each other. It gives tremendous strength to a marriage.

Putting YOU into the vows

Making your marriage vows personal and important to you ensures that you can speak them with feeling and commitment. If using a traditional marriage vow script, make sure you get a copy of it ahead of time and study it. Look at the words together and discuss what they mean to you. Really get into the spirit of the words so that you attain a deeper understanding of what they mean and signify. Contemplate how you will apply these marriage vows in the future and visualise them carrying you through a lifetime of wedded bliss. If you have decided to write your own wedding vows, make sure that you personalise but not trivialise the vows. Think of your wedding vows as a magic spell that require great attention to the ingredients. Make sure your marriage ceremony vows embody the total loving commitment that you are promising each other. And when you come to speak them on your happy day, do so with full awareness of their great significance.

Working your marriage vows

You will discover that happy marriages are built on effort, commitment and love. Being 'in love' is largely a result of that inner explosion of feel-good neurochemicals that occurs when two people are attracted to each other. Over time this spontaneous 'chemistry' between couples can dilute if left to its own devices. You both have to work at re-stimulating this chemistry. Love starts as an adjective, describing the spontaneous state of Love between you, but it must continue as a verb, as something you both consciously do to and for each other. Remember this when you make your marriage vows to each other. Picture a future in which you both work at loving, cherishing and respecting each other. You will need to get creative and put on your thinking cap to do new things and keep the relationship fresh and exciting. Couples who embrace this responsibility enjoy deep abiding marriages. The initial stages of a romance are indeed wonderful and the love feels so good. But it is nothing compared to the deeper love achieved by a married couple who have loved consciously and given their full attention to each other by working their marriage vows everyday through a lifetime.

How to be married happily ever after...

So many marriages falter and fail. Sometimes it seems like everyone you know has experienced divorce either personally or by proxy. It's scary contemplating marriage in a world where so many marriages end in divorce and painful separations. What can you do to be different? Researchers interviewed long-term married couples who described themselves as 'very happily married'. It turns out that this top 1% of couples had unique love strategies and relationship secrets that they used daily to ensure a lifetime of wedded bliss. You now understand the importance of living by your marriage vows and 'loving' as something that you do consciously. Why not not make it easier to create a super marriage though? You can learn from these mentors and shortcut your learning curve. Imagine having the collective marriage wisdom of hundreds of couples. These unique marriage-enhancing strategies have been compiled for you in The 50 Secrets to Blissful Relationships.

Now you can be one of those couples whose marriages thrive and go from strength to strength. Or you can leave it to chance and risk becoming another divorce statistic. It makes sense to get the advice of those who are succeeding in love already. The 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships empowers you with the strategies to back up the promises you make in your wedding vows. I'm so happy to wish you a lifetime of wedded bliss and know that you can achieve that. With love.

www.enzinearticle.com

HOME :: Relationships / Love Love And Marriage (And Why The Former Is Not Enough For The Latter)

"To the unmarried and to the widows I say that it is well for them to remain single as I do."?
(1 Corinthians 7:8)

The immortal words of St. Paul, who quite possibly had experienced the pain of separation and divorce first hand prior to penning these words, and who certainly dealt with relationship breakdowns in every church he pastored.

I seem to be at that stage of life now where all my friends are getting divorced. I've long passed that stage where all my friends are having their 21st's. And I've passed the stage where they are all getting married, and even the one where my friends are all having children. Now I'm up to the 'all my friends are getting divorced' stage. I suppose the only one left after this is the 'all my friends are dying' stage. Not much to look forward to really.

Of course in terms of divorce I led the way. I managed to stuff up my marriage long before almost any of my peers. It's nothing to be proud of, but at least it means that no one needs fear that I'm going to judge them. Who me? I don't think so.

The disturbing thing for me at the moment is that it seems to be all the couples that I've most looked up to as couples that are now falling apart as couples!

When it come to some of the couples I know - such as where the guy deliberately gets the girl pregnant because he figures that having a child will give him the motivation to give up is heroin habit - I sort of expect those marriages to last only a couple of years at best. And yet it's not those couples that are falling apart. It's the marriages made up of men I admire for their integrity and courage, who are married to women who are loyal, nurturing and understanding. And most of these people are good, solid, church-going Christian folk. It's not supposed to happen this way!

I was talking to a girl recently whose relationship had only just broken up after some 20 years of marriage. She was not a part of the church and said that she'd never be. For her the final proof of the non-existence of God was the way in which men and women had evolved with an in-built incompatibility. Her analysis was simple but profound. Men have evolved as creatures that need only to eat and mate. Women have evolved as creatures that need to nurture and nestle. Hence, not surprisingly, we find that men can't handle monogamy and that women can't live without it. Marriages are thus biologically doomed to failure from the outset, and the statistics on modern marriages would seem to bear her out. How could a loving God have created men and women in such a way that they were genetically geared towards their mutual destruction?

It's a good question. Every male knows that his biological drives are not geared towards monogamy ? not lifelong monogamy at any rate. Conversely, it is unrealistic to expect women to settle for anything less than monogamy in today's society. Does this mean that God is cruel, or is there something in the whole marriage concept that we've missed?

I wonder if at the heart of the problem is the assumption that we all make ? that marriage is supposed to make us happy. Indeed, I suspect that most of us believe that the institution of marriage was brought into being for the very purpose of making us happy.

Weren't we all brought up to believe that love and marriage go together like horse and carriage, and that the phrase 'they got married' should generally be followed by the accompanying phrase 'and they lived happily ever after'? Perhaps that's the problem. Perhaps we need to look beyond musicals and fairy tales to find a basis for our adult relationships.

I don't think any of us seriously imagines that our institution of marriage came about because some individual had a 'bright idea' one day about how he could make everybody happy. Marriage is a social institution, and social institutions are developed because they serve a social purpose, not because they bring personal fulfillment to certain individuals within the community. Whether or not you believe God created marriage makes no difference. If He did, God did it for the sake of the community as a whole and not for the sake satisfying every individual's social, emotional and sexual needs.

It makes sense when you think about it. What is the purpose of marriage? To create a stronger society. Strong marriages create strong families who build a stronger community. Marriages contribute stability. They contribute structure. And most importantly, marriages contribute children.

Read through your Old Testament and you'll get the feel for what marriage is all about. Marriage is all-important because without marriages there are no children and without children there is no army. This is why baby boys are more valued than are baby girls. This is why gays get such a hard time. This is why childlessness is such a curse, and why polygamy is a far better alternative than singleness. It's not because the individuals involved prefer it that way. Marriages are there for the sake of the community first and foremost. If an individual finds satisfaction in his or her marriage, then that's a bonus.

So how come every time someone says 'I'm not happy in my marriage' we treat it as if something is horribly wrong? If someone expresses dissatisfaction with other social institutions, such as the government or the taxation system ? we don't normally get too worked up. Maybe it should be the other way round? Maybe when we hear someone speak of their joy in marriage we should react as if they were speaking of their love of Queen and country ? giving them a sort of quizzical smile that expresses admiration without empathy.

I suppose the truth is somewhere between these extremes. Nobody would deny that the institution of marriage can be of some assistance in helping us to satisfy our individual social, emotional, and sexual needs. The truth is though that no marriage is ever going to satisfy all of those needs and desires. We human beings just weren't created to have all our needs for companionship, security and intimacy met by one other solitary individual. We need a community.

This brings us to the positive side of the marriage-community equation. Marriages exist for the sake of the community as a whole. That's the bad news if you thought that your marriage existed for the sake of your individual happiness. On the other hand though, the community exists to meet those needs we all have as individuals. That's the good news.

Our individual needs for companionship, security and intimacy can be met. They just can't be met by one solitary person. We have to learn to draw upon the group for our sustenance, and find support and affection from a variety of people within the community. I think that's a large part of what church is supposed to be about.

So where does this leave us? Is there any hope for the modern marriage? Not so long as people look to marriage as a means to making all their dreams come true. Not so long as individual men and women look to their partners to satisfy all of their social, emotional and sexual needs. Not so long as we demand that our marriages make us happy.

Yet what would happen if we all began to approach marriage in an entirely different way. What if we began to look at our marriages as being the most significant contribution we could make to the broader community?

What if we saw the importance of our roles as parents in terms of the great good that could be achieved in the community if we bring up our children to be strong and capable? What if we stopped assessing our partners and our children in terms of the amount of satisfaction they bring us, and were able to see those relationships as being our gifts to humanity? Perhaps then we'd find ourselves saying things like 'well, I don't get on brilliantly with my wife, but I think we've managed to achieve some fine things together and that the world is a better place for our union, and perhaps that's more important than my individual happiness'.

OK. That's a long way from where we're currently at in this society, but I have a feeling that it would be a better place to be.

www.enzinearticle.com

HOME :: News-and-Society / Religion God's Blue Print for Saving Marriages

"All things were created by Him and for Him...and in Him all things hold together" (Colossians 1:16b-17a). Having a successful marriage first requires you to understand what God had in mind for marriage. After all, If you want to understand the purpose behind an invention, you consult the One who invented it, right!

Since marriage is God's creation, He is in the saving marriages business. God created marriage for three very specific reasons, just like He created you, for very specific reasons. Our lives are more satisfying when we cooperate with God in fulfilling our purposes. Marriage is no exception...

First, you've probably learned that men and women were made in God's image (Gen. 1:26-27). But, did you know that within the marriage relationship husbands and wives also bear the image of God? They do this by demonstrating love and faithfulness to each other...like God does with us. You see, God covenants with His people, husbands and wives covenant to each other and God. So marriage was created to reflect God's faithfulness in the world.

The second reason God created marriage was to meet human needs. Needs for food, shelter and clothing as well as needs for love, acceptance, intimacy, and faithfulness. In that way marriage is a picture to the world of how God provides for His people.

Marriage is God's conduit for love. It was designed to be a safe harbor where a man and a woman could be totally naked and unashamed. A place where they could experience the unconditional love and acceptance of God through each other.

Third, marriage is one of the ways God expands His Kingdom and accomplishes His work in the earth. He commanded men and women to go forth and multiply, be fruitful and take dominion over the earth(Genesis 1:28).
Unfortunately, it is very difficult to do as God commanded when you are at odds with your spouse. Conflict drains our emotional and creative energies. Sadly, many husbands and wives feel like they are sleeping with the enemy instead of with their comrade in arms.

Marriage was designed with unity in mind. When a husband and wife are on the same page, so to speak, they are reflecting the unity of the Godhead. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Unity is so important that Jesus told us it would be a great sign to the world testifying that He truly is the Son of God (John 17:23).

Okay, now you have the general idea God had in mind when He designed marriage, but saving marriage requires a plan.

First, you need to decide, once and for all, are you going to commit to honoring God through your marriage. Are you going to do it God's way? Are you going to trust His word, His plan and His design? If you answered yes, let's move on...

If you're making a plan to improve or save your marriage you need to start out on the right foot. That means getting right with God and your spouse first! To get right requires humility. It requires taking responsibility for the negative, sinful things you have contributed to your marriage without justifying yourself or blaming your spouse.

Confession of sin can be a turning point in our lives. It means we are in agreement with God about our sin and we are choosing to turn away from it. When we do this, God's word promises to give us the power to accomplish that. Some of the things you may want to consider confessing are: the ways in which you have not trusted and honored God, the ways you have not obeyed His word, the consequences of your choices to you, your spouse and your marriage.

Exercising humility is a crucial part of any saving marriages plan. Making confession of sin a regular part of your marriage will keep you humble and help to maintain emotional intimacy. Apologies go a long way in keeping our hearts pliable and loving towards our spouse and God.

The next step in the saving marriages blueprint is making a plan for knowing your spouse's most important needs. You also must become intentional about meeting those needs. Your spouse will feel more connected and in love with you when you are meeting his/her most important emotional needs.

Regular prayer is necessary for a successful marriage. Pray that God would show His love and faithfulness to your spouse through you. Prayer is how we experience the personal relationship we have with God through Christ. It is also where we avail ourselves to the grace of God. Therefore, your plan for saving marriage must include daily prayer for your spouse and your ability to love them.

A marriage that reflects God's image is a safe marriage. God is our refuge, therefore your marriage should be a refuge for both you and your spouse. A safe relationship is one where both husband and wife feel accepted even if there are disagreements. A plan for saving marriages needs to include a plan for safety. Neither spouse should ever have to worry about the proverbial nuclear bomb being dropped on them!

That's why a plan for saving marriages must address conflict. Your marriage can be free from condemnation, contempt, critical attitudes and defensiveness. It's your choice! It can be a place where you are quick to take responsibility for your own actions and slow to point your finger of blame. It is not, however, a marriage that is free from conflict. But, yours can be a marriage where both parties fight fair.

Finally, your saving marriages plan needs to include specific goals, goals that are written down. After all, God wrote down His plan...we call it the Bible! Isn't that a good enough reason for you to write down your plan for your marriage. Written goals are powerful. They help move a plan into motion.

Keep in mind, your goals need to be consistent with God's purpose for your marriage. Your goals will help you stay on track and give more purpose, meaning and direction to your marriage and family life. You may want to have goals in the following areas: Spiritual (we will study and pray together regularly), parenting (we will always be unified when disciplining the children), finances ( we will decide on a budget and stick to it), health (we will exercise regularly and eat right), communication (we will speak lovingly and respectfully to one another).

Well, that should be enough to get you started developing your own personal saving marriages plan. Remember, the Creator of marriage is in the business of saving marriages. Put your hope in the Lord for with Him is unfailing love and full redemption (Psalm 130:7).

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HOME :: News-and-Society / Religion God's Blue Print for Saving Marriages

"All things were created by Him and for Him...and in Him all things hold together" (Colossians 1:16b-17a). Having a successful marriage first requires you to understand what God had in mind for marriage. After all, If you want to understand the purpose behind an invention, you consult the One who invented it, right!

Since marriage is God's creation, He is in the saving marriages business. God created marriage for three very specific reasons, just like He created you, for very specific reasons. Our lives are more satisfying when we cooperate with God in fulfilling our purposes. Marriage is no exception...

First, you've probably learned that men and women were made in God's image (Gen. 1:26-27). But, did you know that within the marriage relationship husbands and wives also bear the image of God? They do this by demonstrating love and faithfulness to each other...like God does with us. You see, God covenants with His people, husbands and wives covenant to each other and God. So marriage was created to reflect God's faithfulness in the world.

The second reason God created marriage was to meet human needs. Needs for food, shelter and clothing as well as needs for love, acceptance, intimacy, and faithfulness. In that way marriage is a picture to the world of how God provides for His people.

Marriage is God's conduit for love. It was designed to be a safe harbor where a man and a woman could be totally naked and unashamed. A place where they could experience the unconditional love and acceptance of God through each other.

Third, marriage is one of the ways God expands His Kingdom and accomplishes His work in the earth. He commanded men and women to go forth and multiply, be fruitful and take dominion over the earth(Genesis 1:28).
Unfortunately, it is very difficult to do as God commanded when you are at odds with your spouse. Conflict drains our emotional and creative energies. Sadly, many husbands and wives feel like they are sleeping with the enemy instead of with their comrade in arms.

Marriage was designed with unity in mind. When a husband and wife are on the same page, so to speak, they are reflecting the unity of the Godhead. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Unity is so important that Jesus told us it would be a great sign to the world testifying that He truly is the Son of God (John 17:23).

Okay, now you have the general idea God had in mind when He designed marriage, but saving marriage requires a plan.

First, you need to decide, once and for all, are you going to commit to honoring God through your marriage. Are you going to do it God's way? Are you going to trust His word, His plan and His design? If you answered yes, let's move on...

If you're making a plan to improve or save your marriage you need to start out on the right foot. That means getting right with God and your spouse first! To get right requires humility. It requires taking responsibility for the negative, sinful things you have contributed to your marriage without justifying yourself or blaming your spouse.

Confession of sin can be a turning point in our lives. It means we are in agreement with God about our sin and we are choosing to turn away from it. When we do this, God's word promises to give us the power to accomplish that. Some of the things you may want to consider confessing are: the ways in which you have not trusted and honored God, the ways you have not obeyed His word, the consequences of your choices to you, your spouse and your marriage.

Exercising humility is a crucial part of any saving marriages plan. Making confession of sin a regular part of your marriage will keep you humble and help to maintain emotional intimacy. Apologies go a long way in keeping our hearts pliable and loving towards our spouse and God.

The next step in the saving marriages blueprint is making a plan for knowing your spouse's most important needs. You also must become intentional about meeting those needs. Your spouse will feel more connected and in love with you when you are meeting his/her most important emotional needs.

Regular prayer is necessary for a successful marriage. Pray that God would show His love and faithfulness to your spouse through you. Prayer is how we experience the personal relationship we have with God through Christ. It is also where we avail ourselves to the grace of God. Therefore, your plan for saving marriage must include daily prayer for your spouse and your ability to love them.

A marriage that reflects God's image is a safe marriage. God is our refuge, therefore your marriage should be a refuge for both you and your spouse. A safe relationship is one where both husband and wife feel accepted even if there are disagreements. A plan for saving marriages needs to include a plan for safety. Neither spouse should ever have to worry about the proverbial nuclear bomb being dropped on them!

That's why a plan for saving marriages must address conflict. Your marriage can be free from condemnation, contempt, critical attitudes and defensiveness. It's your choice! It can be a place where you are quick to take responsibility for your own actions and slow to point your finger of blame. It is not, however, a marriage that is free from conflict. But, yours can be a marriage where both parties fight fair.

Finally, your saving marriages plan needs to include specific goals, goals that are written down. After all, God wrote down His plan...we call it the Bible! Isn't that a good enough reason for you to write down your plan for your marriage. Written goals are powerful. They help move a plan into motion.

Keep in mind, your goals need to be consistent with God's purpose for your marriage. Your goals will help you stay on track and give more purpose, meaning and direction to your marriage and family life. You may want to have goals in the following areas: Spiritual (we will study and pray together regularly), parenting (we will always be unified when disciplining the children), finances ( we will decide on a budget and stick to it), health (we will exercise regularly and eat right), communication (we will speak lovingly and respectfully to one another).

Well, that should be enough to get you started developing your own personal saving marriages plan. Remember, the Creator of marriage is in the business of saving marriages. Put your hope in the Lord for with Him is unfailing love and full redemption (Psalm 130:7).

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HOME :: Relationships / Marriage The Source of "True Marriage Healing"

The source of "true marriage healing" lies within the spiritual aspects of who we are. How do I know this? Because I've been to marriage counseling, and I have read all the self-help marriage books, and because, I did all the things "they say" that are supposed to help you love who you married. But the reality of it is folks, there is no magic pill or potion you can take, and there is no person, besides you, that is going to heal your marriage as it is meant to be healed.

He said, she said scenarios don't work, and neither will finger pointing and blaming one another. We can brow beat our spouse until we are blue in the face, and we can continue to have affairs just because our marriage is on rocky times, and we can listen to strangers tell us how to save our marriage, but I'll tell you what, it will not make us better people inside, so what good is all that for our marriage?

What we want and need for marriage is to be the person God intended for us to be so we can have a better marriage. A man and a woman marriage relationship is the four legs that support the marriage, and what you believe for your marriage is the root of how good or bad the marriage actually will be.

If you want to be a healthier person spiritually, and even mentally, you need to enhance the spiritual side of who you are so you can grow into the loving individual God wants you to become, which is the whole and complete person you truly can be! We all have certain issues in our lives that hold us back from attaining the spiritualism that I am talking about. What is holding you back? That is the question?

In my book, Journey on the Roads Less Traveled, I reveal what held me back. It is my personal testimony of dealing with alcohol addiction and how it stunted my mental and spiritual growth process, and kept me from loving others and myself properly. I was up there on cloud nine most of the early years of my marriage. I eventually came down off that cloud and grew up.

It is MY firm belief that to heal marriage according to how marriage is to be divinely inspired and healed, we need to fix ourselves FIRST! I don't care what some of the self-help books say, I just know this to be true because I've been there! If our marriage isn't good, we need to seek out the resources from the source that is going to actually do something constructive for the marriage, right?

Man himself can set forth a standard for you to follow based on beliefs of society and they may all seem so good and right but if they do not come from God what use are they, really? Most man-made principles come from God but have been twisted to fit into the standards of society, which can sound good and right. This takes great discernment on your part. What is right and wrong? How can you tell? Don't let the world fool you; don't let people fool you into believing what your ears want to hear. Look for the fruit. If there isn't any, then what good is that?

"He who tends a fig tree will eat its fruit" Proverbs 27:18. And in the same concept, "He who tends "himself" will eat its fruits in marriage, and whatever else he embarks on in his life.

If you originate from God, why are you looking to a mere stranger to heal your marriage troubles? God has told us what he wants for us to do for our marriage, but no one is following these precepts, not even those who call themselves Christian's. If you are sinning against the marriage in any way, how can you really expect the standards of society to save you from yourself? Society isn't going to tell you that being unfaithful is wrong, just as it won't tell you what is good and right for your marriage.

Society created the things that are tempting to us and wrong for our marriage. Immoral behavior and imagery is shoved into our face every single day and everywhere! God desperately wants us to put on His shield of armor and He will protect us from the evils of the outside world. This is precisely why we need to fix our self FIRST before we can fix anything with marriage! We do this by letting God lead us not into temptation of society, but instead deliver us from all the evils of society!

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full body armor (figuratively speaking) of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." [Ephesians 6:10-13]

We ought not to stand proud in our sin, but rather put our head down low, and stand humbly before God ready to give our sin(s) to Him. Now, I certainly don't know everything there is to know about the mysteries of God, and, like many of you, I am learning something new about the world around me every single day. Not a day goes by that God doesn't somehow and in some way reveal to me something new to share with others.

I have dealt with personally many of the issues most marriages go through in a lifetime, and sometimes my marriage was a living nightmare. But I grew out and away from what was holding me back, and I managed to heal my marriage with the help of biblical principles. I didn't learn how to be happy and content with myself by going to a therapist or a marriage counselor. And I knew that I couldn't fix my marriage until I fixed myself first. I had to stop drinking, and start to be aware of who I was as a person and where I was in relation to being that person.

What is my purpose? Who am I? Well, I am a child of God. Well then, if I am a child of God, then my source for comfort, happiness and marriage healing lies then in the seed God planted in my heart, which needs only to sprout and grow. Will the seed planted in my heart grow if I go outside of God's boundaries for the answers to my failings, and marriage troubles? No! I need to water the seed by staying within the boundaries of who I am.

One day I decided I wanted to understand what having spirituality in my life was all about, and eventually, I accepted Jesus Christ into my life. His Spirit, the Holy Spirit is a part of my life now. This is not something anyone can just hand over to you. Spirituality is something that you go after and attain on your own and it takes time and spiritual effort. Your relationship with God (Jesus Christ) is unique and special and unlike anyone else's relationship with Him.

True Marriage Healing is not made in a week, or months, but is a gradual growth process that husband and wife make within himself or herself. No marriage will ever be restored until "each" spouse looks at what he can do to change himself. Once this is attained, then and only then, can the marriage begin to be transformed? The big change comes through when we know who we are and what our purpose is in life. When we feel like our life has purpose and meaning, then we can start applying that purpose into our lives.

Many couples when they feel like there is no value or importance attached to their life, that is when they may go outside the boundaries of Gods precepts and search for substance through the establishments of society. The main objective here is for couples to change the way they value themselves and marriage and to help the marriage to grow in positive ways.

Who are you? What is your purpose in life? The answers are where you begin your search for the true source of marriage healing.

~~~

Angie Lewis is the author of Journey on the Roads Less Traveled, a book about love, life and marriage. Angie has written a new book, Love The Man Your Married. In her book Angie shares and answers comments and questions from married couples about marriage related issues that affect couples today.

The book involves all areas in marriage that couples need to know and understand and apply for a successful marriage. This book is a most reliable resource for married couples, from infidelity issues to complete forgiveness. It is my hope that all couples find and begin to utilize the biblical truths for their marriage by reading and studying this book.

If you value your relationship with your spouse, and want to read about positive ways to save your marriage, then this book is a must read! Pick up a copy today!


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